THE SQUARE ROOT OF TEXAS:
The First Calamity of QED Morningwood
QED Morningwood is a liar, braggart and teller of tall tales. When he shows up at the domino parlor with a mysterious Russian crate in the back of his pick-up truck, he confides to the players he is a ‘Shadow’ member of the NRA, not on their official membership roll, and has a load of rocket propelled grenades – all lies. The news spreads to the real Shadow NRA, the FBI and Homeland Security. Meanwhile, the Russian Ministry of Cultural Preservation sends an agent to retrieve the crate, the actual contents known only to the Russians.
“What kind of job requires jailbreak doo-dads?”
Rob Witherspoon definitely has the enviable knack for knocking out a fair piece of Texas-sized satire. The Square Root of Texas is chock full of witticism, funky characters with unforgettable names, and a knotty plot that will keep you on your toes and keep you laughing a little too long.
The Square Root of Texas is a romp of a story about Russian agents, the FBI, and a Texas town full of shenanigans and strange characters, many of whom harbor secrets or have secret identities or are just plain kooky. Who is this QED “Kid” Morningwood in the small Texas town of Heelstring, and why are strangers in town looking for him? What is this cargo he keeps hauling around under a tarp, and why are the Russians and who knows who else trying to get their hands on said contraband? This tall tale is raunchy, hilarious, politically incorrect, misogynistic, and downright weird, but what a story!
The overall structure of the story is unconventional, to say the least, and the narrator is quite intrusive, which could be annoying or frustrating, but the author pulls it off with humor and a fair amount of panache. Instead of chapters, the story is separated with that pesky yet humorous narrator talking directly to the reader about what to expect or advising the reader to take a break, if necessary. Everything about this story, including the narrator periodically crashing the party, is quick and dirty, frequently crossing over into the silly and ridiculous and then jumping feet first into covert capers that do not fail to entertain. All the names are side-splitting funny, but one of my favorites is the character name of Shana Doo that sounds suspiciously like Xanadu, which is hilarious and appropriate. Make sure you say the names aloud when you’re reading to get the full effect. You won’t be sorry. The author leaves no stone unturned when it comes to presenting satirical mischief and tomfoolery.
All flippancy aside (if possible), The Square Root of Texas is cleverly devised, and every word is meant to entertain and delight. As with all satire throughout the ages, this one pokes fun at all the appropriate entities, such as government, big business, and anyone else who acts too big for his/her britches. Do you need a break from real life right about now? The Square Root of Texas is the perfect getaway when you are unable to actually get away. Take a quick, virtual trip to Heelstring, Texas, and play a game of dominoes or a game of pool, but keep your eye out for any nefarious, gun-toting oddballs. They’re everywhere!
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I received a free copy of this book from Lone Star Book Blog Tours in exchange for my honest review.
Rob Witherspoon was born and raised in rural Texas. He earned a BA in Physical Education, UT Arlington 1985 and a BS in Aerospace Engineering, UT Arlington 1990. He worked in the aerospace industry for 30 years before retiring in 2018. He lives in north central Texas with his wife and youngest daughter and has spent much of his life in rural communities and on the ranch. He combines his love for Texas, lying, the outdoors, engineering, and his children in his writing.
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FABULOUS review! This makes me want to get reading right now. I love that this book is so unconventional and quirky. Thanks for sharing!